Being An A**hole as a Man is Easy

Walter Mwasi Williams III
7 min readFeb 28, 2022

It is exceedingly easy to act like an asshole as a man.

“Well, Bravo, grease lighting.” I can imagine many readers, who aren’t Hetero, Cis, and Male, sarcastically congratulating me, all with the added burn of a slow clap. “You’ve crossed the finish line”.

A more than fair criticism.

So, for some this is obviously preaching to an exhausted choir. But for others this may be new information. This an attempt to explain my opinion, as based on a combination of experiences, things I witnessed, learned, and am still learning as a man. This is not an academic paper. So, it won’t be filled with tons of academic jargon. Also, I’ll use one or two quotes at most.

The thing is, I wasn’t always aware of what I know now, and my hope is for someone to read this — specifically other Hetero, Cis, Men — and also learn something.

BUT let’s just very quickly get a few things out of the way.

1. A discussion about forms of toxic masculinity is not condemning manhood, masculinity, or men. If you noticed there is a literal qualifier in the word “toxic”. This is often a dishonest tactic meant to discredit the speaker in order to invalidate everything they are saying. If the entire conversation about toxic masculinity is invalidated, then men never have to examine their own behavior